Recently, the CDC took steps to prepare society for the coming Zombie Apocalypse. Has wisdom has finally reached the offices of government? We can only hope.
As you know, zombies are a threat to our way of life. Why just the other day I needed help at a local department store and attempted to hail down the nearest employee. Wouldn't you know it—she was a zombie. I caught her gnawing on a bone with another zombie who couldn't be interrupted to get a shoe in my size. You will find these self-centered, decaying youngsters throughout most of the retail industry.
But if the private sector has it bad, well just take a peek at the public sector. It is brimming with the decay of the rotting dead. Wait in line at any Department of Motor Vehicle and tell me if I am wrong. These glazed-eyed, slack-faced wounded can walk and talk, but have no mind of their own. God forbid that you have a problem that requires actual insight Instead of a rational solution, you will receive regulations spewed without conscience or understanding.
A lack of conscience leads me to the final category of zombies—the contagion spreaders. These ambitious zombies run for public office or become leaders of large corporations. They are the fast moving dead, who gobble up anything or anyone in their path. Ambitious zombies are slogan-spewing, baby-gnawing, economic manipulators who lead us to believe that a new car or a new war will make us feel better. They fill our televisions with messages of human inferiority. You're hair is ugly, by our shampoo and be loved. Your needs must filled, buy our products or our politics and we will make sure you are comfortably numb for the rest of your sheep-like existence.
They must be stopped.
Each day, the epidemic spreads. We can only hope that a cure is found soon. Because if it isn't, then we are all doomed to become droolers with no thought to anything, but our own torpid reality. The time to fight is now—while you still have a brain, a heart… and other organs. Protect yourself from zombie infection. Unleash your creativity. Give your time to a cause you care about. Bring beauty to the world. Because if you don't… the disease will claim one more life.
The Zombie Fight Starts With You!